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Week of Charm

by Fern Mayo

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1.
Echo 03:47
what do you wanna do tonight? i ask a question when i think my answer's wrong remember the last time we got in a fight? i couldn't say what was on my mind disappointed in myself for letting you think i'm somebody else two eyes in the rearview looking over and behind for someplace to find you or see myself in your eyes promises swallowed made us shallow as the wind grasping at nothing grasping at nothing i don't want to be another echo i don't want to be someone you let go
2.
Moonwater 03:49
running under coils of steam running out of threadbare sheets running over all the memories i won't leave behind humming our favorite song remember what it takes thumbing through picture books translated i'm in love with what you're doing with your energy it isn't what it seems it isn't what it seems strumming my favorite chord in a bedroom with four windows and a white chest of drawers i remember it, the way you held me i'll never sleep like that again
3.
The Sweets 03:49
and there's no rest just repeat, repeat, repeat even when i sleep there's no relief, relief and you wonder why i drag my feet stuck in the wet cement of time and lost light and compete, compete, compete but i'm trying i swear i am you can't be mad i'm trying you can't be mad but i can and there's nothing new just repeat, repeat, repeat same goes for you now i see, repeat, repeat and you said you'd cut an ear off too and i knew you couldn't until i let my teeth get whet with the sweets but i'm trying i swear i am you can't be mad i'm trying you can't be mad but i can and i am i'm trying but we're both dying to have something to show for all this nothing
4.
can't keep my feet on the ground can't keep my mouth around everything i should eat everything choking me what do i have? what can i lose? but nothing moves like you and me shoulders down slouching into the breeze all i have to lose are the shapes i bend to trying to fit in the grip closing in on everything all i asked for was someone i got none i got everyone but no one moves like you and me let me lean set me free
5.
clouds are on the shoreline we played house pretending to be simple we couldn't keep on lying like that storms pass but this wasn't that there's a current you get caught in those thorny tides along for the ride opposites attract but magnetic for what? to hold all that you refuse white knuckles can't hold all that you knew, you knew what i didn't what i didn't there's a current you get caught in those thorny tides along for the ride but it wasn't right why hold so tight to something blocking out your true self over and over all over
6.
Hard Candy 04:20
tiny victories all alone always live like no one's home hear their footsteps' cloying undertow tempting with their candy jars you can't save me you can't save me you can't save me look out the window from the floor avoid the dust, avoid the claws, a void to noise except that constant rustling of your foil falling below your knees laid down, naked, hard as bone without the fleshy soft parts that you've grown accustomed to covering to stop that black hole from creeping in you can't save me you can't save me you can't save me
7.
tell me i don't make sense one more time all my fingers on the knife, tell me again how what i laid out isn't right never done this before never doubted me more oh beginner's luck never doubt the fact that this is you dumping what you didn't want in my lap what do i say when you don't hear me? what do i say when you won't hear me? do you even see me or just the outline of someone you used to have? someone you used to hold? someone who broke your heart? someone who used to tell you no? what's crazy is thinking you're someone i want what's crazy is keeping you around when what i want is in the small things how can you show me you care, show me you'll be there if you can't even hear? what do i say when you won't hear me? what do i say when you don't hear me?
8.
Sippy Cup 04:09
burning spit it up the hellfire in your stomach let it out and into a sippy cup tie a bow around it a gift for now, of it the buttercream frosted rage i baked is in the icebox make it cute make it cut make it true make it up whatever you wouldn't do in the situation stack the knives and the plates tucked away, nothing left to break there's another time and place to make that play make it cute make it cut make it true make it up whatever doesn't suit the situation make it cute make it cut make it true make it what ever you wouldn't do in the situation
9.
Pivot 04:20
if i could only find a banana split that would last me half as long as this commute on a pivot between an apple and two oranges was it worth it? was it worth it? what is worth it? what is worth this? a wallflower planted under a neon sign can you make it if you can't fake it flooded in synthetic light how do you survive if you never get to sleep at night? was it worth it? was it worth it? what is worth it? what is worth this?
10.
The Wheel 05:27
do you still think of me? i know you're not enough but i want to know if i mattered like an incision leaves a scar like a tumor leaves a wound, more room for me to move but i just feel the emptiness of what i fought to lose like i wasn't the one who removed it like i wasn't the one who couldn't prove it like it was just someone like all the books told us like it was only one even though it wasn't i haven't apologized for every little thing i fumbled, mistook or had to rethink is that asking you to the very same thing that i refuse? like i wasn't the one who removed it like i wasn't the one who couldn't prove it like i was just someone like everybody told us like it was only one even though it wasn't because nothing's overlapping like the real cause nothing's overlapping enough to give real pause to every single pair soaking it all in to all the eyes and ears hanging by a thread upside down with you hands in the muck, nothing's moving as slow as you are, the right it wants what the left's protecting and it isn't martyrdom and it isn't what you lack but 'round and 'round you go until you give in to it give in to it

credits

released November 8, 2019

Recorded, Mixed and Mastered at Black Lodge Recordings, Brooklyn, NY by Michael J Thomas III
Produced by Michael J Thomas III and Katie Capri
All songs were written by Katie Capri.

Guitar & Vocals: Katie Capri
Drums: Michael J Thomas III except "Sippy Cup" played by Jesse Paller and "Saying Goodbye" programmed by Katie Capri and Michael J Thomas III
Bass: Hayley Livingston, Kate Meizner, Michael J Thomas III, and Dave Shepherd. Special shout to Ricardo Balmaseda
Piano: Katie Capri
Synth: Michael J Thomas III
Album cover by Bao Ngo

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Fern Mayo Brooklyn, New York

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